The Road Less Traveled
    A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
M. Scott Peck, M.D.

"Self-Sacrifice"

- Motives behind destructive nurturing
    - "Giver", under guise of love, is meeting his/her own needs without regard to the spiritual needs of the receiver
- Example of women who seem to stay with a pattern of being mistreated, no desire to do anything to change the situation
    - By allowing herself to be treated basely she can feel superior
    - Thinks that her submission to mistreatment is love
    - Basically motivated by hatred--desire for revenge, humiliate the other person
- Misconception of love: that it is self-sacrifice
- When we genuinely love, we do so because we want to love
    - Love involves extension of self, rather than sacrifice of self
    - Enlarges self, rather than diminishing
- In the case of genuine love, the aim is always spiritual growth

Another misconception of love is that it is self-sacrifice.  However, self-sacrifice is not motivated by love, but by the need to feel superior.  Genuine love involves the free choice to love, rather than the feeling that something is being sacrificed.