The Road Less Traveled
    A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Love and Psychotherapy

- Woman patient: Marcia
    - After months of therapy, she asks Peck: "do you think I'm a bit of a shit?"
    - He feels that she is entitled to honest answer about what he thinks of her
    - This is an interaction that was disapproved of
    - Reputable psychiatrist would not allow himself to fall into
    - Went out on a limb to tell her what he thought of her
    - Revealed that he had positive feelings for her: admired her for working so hard
- Revealing genuinely positive feelings seemed to be of great therapeutic benefit
- Reaction to Helen, another patient
    - Reaction was meaningful and significant because of the depth of his involvement and the intensity of the struggle together
- Essential ingredient that makes psychotheraphy effective and successful
    - Willingness of therapist to extend him/herself for the purpose of nurturing the patient's spiritual growth
    - Essential ingredient is love

- Psychotherapists basiccaly embarassed by subject of love
    - Confusion between genuine love and romantic love
    - Bias towards rational, tangible, scientific methods
- Love has not lent itself to scientific analysis
    - Intangible, incompletely measurable, suprarational phenomenon
- Feelings that patient has for therapist labeled "transference"
- Feelings of therapist for patient: "countertransference"
    - Implication that both are abnormal
- Psychotherapy in many ways is a process of reparenting
    - No more inappropriate for therapist to have feelings of love for patient than for parent to have feelings of love for a child
- Generally, mental illness due to defect in love that a particular child required from its parents
- If therapist cannot genuinely love a patient, genuine healing will not occur
- Inevitable that both patients and therapists routinely develop strong sexual attractions to each other
    - Pressure to consummate these attraction may be enormous
    - But, job of therapist is to be of use to patient, not use patient to serve their own needs
    - And sexual relationship would most likely cement patient's immature attachments, rather than to loosen them
    - Also, therapist who falls in love with patient can no longer be objective about patient's needs
   
- If psychotherapy is genuinely loving, should love always be psychotherapeutic?
    - If we extend ourselves to nurture spiritual growth of friends and family, should we be practicing psychotherapy?
    - Certainly
    - If Peck sees family or friends suffering from some unnecessary impediment, he has as much obligation to extend himself to help correct the situation as he does towards his patients
- Any genuine loving relationship is one of mutual psychotherapy
- But easier to practice therapy on someone who travels to you for that purpose
- Practing psychotherapy at home
    - Requires the same intensity of effort and self-discipline
    - But under less than ideal conditions
    - An ideal, or goal to be striven toward but not instantly achieved

- Patients asking when they will be ready to terminate therapy
    - "When you yourself are able to be a good therapist."

It is not only natural, but required, for a good psychotherapist to act with genuine love in treating his or her patients.  Also, in other relationships of genuine love, the therapist should practice psychotherapy.