The Road Less Traveled
    A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Love Is Disciplined

- Any genuine lover behaves with self-discipline
- Any genuinely loving relationship is a disciplined relationship
- Must not assume that modulating and controlling our feelings makes us NOT passionate
- Feelings are slaves
    - Art of self-discipline is like the art of slave owning
    Sean: Probably a great way to illustrate the concept, though not entirely politically
            correct
    - 2 common mistakes that slave owners can make
    1) No discipline, gives slaves no structure, sets no limits
    2) Routinely beats slaves into submission, punishes them severely
        (Slaveowner obsessed with fear that they might get out of control)
- Proper management of one's feelings
    - Complex balanced middle path
    - This is the path of healthy self-discipline

- Among feelings which must be disciplined is feeling of love
    - Meaning: the feeling of cathexis
- Genuine love for only a few individuals is all that is within our power
    - If people ask for our attention, we must choose among them whom we are actually to love
    - Factors:
        - Ability of person to respond to our love with spiritual growth
        - To attempt to love someone who cannot benefit from your love with spiritual growth is to waste your energy
   
- Possible for some people to love more than one person at the same time
    - This is a problem for several reasons
    - Western culture suggests exclusivity
    - Even if you had great marriage, family relationships, great danger in spreading yourself too thin
- If one has built genuinely loving relationships with spouse and children, then one has
    accomplished more than most people accomplish in a lifetime
- First obligation will always be to marriage and parental relationships
- Self-discipline required to avoid "spreading oneself too thin"

- Genuine love, with all its required discipline, is only path to true joy

- Genuine love is self-replenishing
    - The more I love, the longer I love, the larger I become

We must exercise discipline in genuine love by choosing only a few individuals to work at loving.  For most people, their first obligation will be to their marriage and family.