The Road Less Traveled
    A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
M. Scott Peck, M.D.

The Risk of Commitment

- Commitment
    - Foundation of any genuinely loving relationship
    - Doesn't guarantee success, but helps more than any other factor
- Commitment enables transition from falling in love to genuine love
- Enables security of knowing that act of struggling over issues in relationship will not itself destroy the relationship
- Character-disordered individuals form only shallow commitments
- Neurotics paralyzed by fear of commitment
- Example of Rachel
    - Can't accept that others have made a commitment to her
    - Feels like she is only guaranteed of a relationship as long as she behaves according to expectations
    - She won't open up entirely, because she's afraid of being dumped
    - "I'll desert you before you desert me" syndrome
    - She quit therapy several times, struggling with mutual commitment
    - Her parents had not made a commitment to her
- Risk of self-confrontation and change
    - Behaving differently may represent extraordinary personal risk
    - Individual trying to grow can always retreat into easy and familiar patterns
- Bracketing
    - Impossible to truly understand another without making room for that person within yourself
    - Same extension of self required in listening to our children
    - Parents must risk suffering of changing, growing, learning from their children
    - Learning from children is best opportunity for meaningful old age

True commitment to another person is the foundation of a truly loving relationship.  This can only be done by extending yourself and making room for the other person.  In doing this, we must be willing to change, grow and learn.